As a supportive, caring adult in a child’s life, you are an important factor in helping them overcome the effects of childhood trauma. With these five gestures, you can make a difference in their everyday lives.
Gestures that can Heal

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Listen Icon

Listen

When you listen to kids, you show them you value what they have to say.

Comfort Icon

Comfort

Comforting kids shows them that they are safe.

Collaborate Icon

Collaborate

When you collaborate with kids, you help them learn to work through problems.

Inspire Icon

Inspire

Inspiring kids helps them to imagine what’s possible.

Celebrate Icon

Celebrate

When you celebrate kids, you build their self-esteem.

why It Works

Listening attentively to children shows we care and that their thoughts matter.

For all children, especially those who have experienced violence, a patient and receptive adult who listens can help them feel safe and valued. It also shows them that they can trust the adults around them, establishing the foundation for pro-social strategies to express their emotions.

Teaching children to listen helps embody the skills of communication, getting along, and seeing others’ perspectives. Listening with respect and empathy shows a child that they are worthy. Listening helps children feel supported, increases their self-esteem, and helps them view the world as a safe place to express themselves.[1] [2] Being curious and reflecting back what you are hearing helps children build executive function and self-regulation skills, which are both necessary for building resilience.

In this section, learn tips for practicing the Listening gesture, especially these 5 key strategies for good listening:

  • Listen attentively and actively.
  • Listen without distractions.
  • Be patient and allow them time to share when they are ready.
  • Pay attention to their emotions and feelings.
  • Validate their feelings and emotions.

Comfort is a gesture of making others feel safe and secure, and can greatly help children experiencing traumatic stress.

Providing comfort to children can make the difference between fear and security, and builds the foundation for resiliency to adversity. When children are able to recognize and regulate their emotions, such as anger and sadness, they are better able to sustain relationships, focus on tasks, and succeed socially and academically. Skills like self-soothing, being able to connect their words to feelings, and practicing relaxation and emotional regulation are increasingly recognized as important to overall well-being and resilience.

Caring adults can be role models for healthy emotional expression and behaviors and help children build their emotional intelligence. Through comfort and support, you can help reverse the effects of toxic stress in children by assisting them in making sense of their experiences and regaining a feeling of safety.[1]

When comforting children, practice active listening and provide support at all times, during both seemingly small stressors and bigger issues. Show compassion, provide reassurance and demonstrate a commitment to being there for them. Creating a safe environment is one of the most valuable elements of the Comfort gesture that can help children re-establish a sense of security and stability.

By practicing Collaboration skills with children, you can teach them how to identify and control their emotions, work through problems, and help them gain independence.

Children who have been exposed to violence may have limited experience using problem-solving methods and may struggle to see and understand others’ perspectives. They may lack a sense of belonging or even the will and know-how to reach out. Teaching children who have experienced traumatic stress how to collaborate can help them learn strategies to effectively address conflict and deal with adversity.

In order to deal effectively with adversity, children need access to flexible strategies for addressing conflict, seeking help, and dealing with unforeseen setbacks. Problem-solving skills and learning how to adopt different perspectives are linked with better outcomes for children and may help them view aggression as a less attractive way to handle conflict.[1],[2] As a caring adult, you can help the children in your life to learn these strategies by encouraging children to describe and think about the results of their actions.[3]

Every day at work, at school, and at home, you have opportunities to collaborate with children to identify problems and work together towards a common goal. In this section, we’ll share how you can teach children the skills to collaborate and resolve problems by modeling cooperative relationships, helping them build trust, and encouraging them to express their opinions and ask for help when needed.

Inspiring through motivation, encouragement, or influence is essential for children to recognize their potential and believe in possibilities for their future.

Children who have experienced violence and traumatic stress can become negative, expect to be unsuccessful, have a low sense of self-worth, and fail to foresee a positive future for themselves. But caring adults can help inspire and build resiliency in children by identifying their strengths and natural talents and by helping to build their self-confidence.

Children can be inspired when we show how much we care, how we want to connect with them, and how much their voice really matters. Inspiration comes from a willingness to try to learn new things in a positive and safe environment. Inspiration comes from creativity, learning, and exploration. Inspire children by fostering a nurturing environment that motivates them to explore, partner with them to recognize their strengths and talents, and be a role model for positive thinking.

In this section, we offer inspiration to you as teachers, advocates, and caregivers to first reach out to children and listen, to set examples of positive thinking, and to encourage them to try new things.

Celebrate is a seemingly small everyday gesture that can make a world of difference in a child’s life.

When we celebrate a child’s achievements and challenges, both big and small, and affirm who they are as individuals, we support the development of their self-identity and remind them that they are lovable, competent, and important[1]. When we acknowledge their birthdays, graduations or everyday accomplishments like completing their homework, meeting new friends, or doing chores, we help children build positive self-esteem.

Studies show that an essential ingredient for a child’s resilience, particularly for a child who has experienced violence and traumatic stress, is a secure relationship between the child and a caring adult who loves them, believes in them, sees them as special, and celebrates their accomplishments[2]. Supportive and encouraging adults can help them better cope with adversity.

Every time you celebrate a child it’s an opportunity to teach them the social and emotional skills they need to heal. Greeting and acknowledging children recognizes them and shows them that they matter. Praising and celebrating children when they carry out something difficult shows them that no matter how stressful things may become, perseverance is important. In this section, we offer ideas to celebrate children by providing affirmation and validation, recognizing their individual and cultural uniqueness, and fostering their self-confidence and self-esteem.

Infants & Toddlers

Adults can help teach younger children the skills of collaborating by showing them how to work together and how to see and share different perspectives from other children and adults.

Body Language.

Listen to children at this age by bending down or sitting on the floor with them to make them feel safe and comfortable. Pay attention to their body language and nonverbal cues, or even to their drawings — sometimes telling you more than what they are or are not saying.

Be Patient.

Patience is critical at this age. Young children might need some extra time and space to express themselves.

Elementary & Middle School

Encourage children of this age to express their feelings, particularly when they show nonverbal signs of negative emotions: a slumped posture, tiredness, or certain facial expressions.

Be Patient.

Processing experiences and emotions can take time and children may need to talk about certain topics multiple times. Also, young children often express themselves through play or art, and these activities can offer insight into what they are feeling.

Practice Supportive Listening.

Help them express their thoughts and make sense of their experience. Allow them to share their story without interruptions. Be open to their ideas and opinions. Repeat back what they have said to you to make sure you have understood them correctly.

Teens

If a teen wants to talk about a difficult topic, supportive listening can help them express their thoughts and make sense of their experience.

Make Them Feel Safe.

Pick a safe place to talk during an activity, while playing video games or a sport, or while driving in a car. Ask open-ended questions that require more than a yes or no answer. Respond to their emotions with your body language and restate what you heard them say.

Be Patient.

Give them time to express themselves. Allow them to share their story without interruptions, show interest, and be alert for moments of honesty and vulnerability. Give them time to express themselves before offering advice or help. Sometimes they will be more encouraged to express themselves when you are not looking directly at each other.

Infants & Toddlers

Infants and toddlers cannot always communicate their needs and emotions. Pay close attention to their feelings and unspoken needs expressed through body language to comfort and respond as needed.

Nurture.

Foster a deep, nurturing connection. Offer physical and emotional affection to create a feeling of safety. Calm down infants by swaddling, shushing and rocking them. Pay close attention to children’s feelings, and validate them. Help children feel safe enough to feel emotions, and provide them with acceptable, non-violent ways to share strong feelings. Provide young children with comforting objects such as special stuffed animals or soft blankets.

Be Patient And Remain Calm.

Supporting babies even at their most difficult moments lets them know they can trust and rely on you. Stay calm in stressful situations as infants take their emotional cues from their caregivers. When children are clingy, whiny, or aggressive, they need you to help them regain control and feel safe.

Respond Appropriately.

Gauge your response to children’s cries for attention, comfort and reassure them based on what they need. Help children identify their feelings by naming them. For example, you might say, “I can see that you feel really angry at him for knocking over your blocks.” Very young children work through frightening events by reenacting them through play. So try not to discourage the way they play, even if you find it disturbing. Comfort children who seem distressed by their play, and gently redirect them to other activities.

Elementary & Middle School

Adults can help comfort, console, or guide children at the elementary and middle school ages to a resolution when conflict or issues emerge.

Nurture.

Help children feel like they can trust you by only making promises you can keep. Offer them safe ways to express feelings, such as drawing, pretend play, or telling stories. Help a child empathize and take others’ perspectives by recognizing other children’s emotions. Teach children positive self-talk to help them deal with everyday frustrations.

Be Patient And Remain Calm.

Use a calm approach to help children regain a sense of safety and control. Children that are often perceived as disruptive are generally feeling out of control and may not be able to express themselves in other ways. Practice relaxation techniques when children are not under stress — such as counting to ten, deep breathing, meditation, or positive self-talk. Repetition will make them more likely to use these techniques when they’re upset.

Teens

Teens often need encouragement to share their frustrations and concerns.

Nurture.

Be present and pay attention to changes in behaviors. Offer validating and reflecting statements to help them label their own emotions when in distress.

When They Are Not Under Stress.

Practice relaxation techniques such as counting to ten, deep breathing, meditation, or positive self-talk. Help them identify strategies to manage stress and control their impulses. Ask about their peers and help them identity friends that make them feel happy and confident.

Infants & Toddlers

Adults can help teach younger children the skills of collaborating by showing them how to work together and how to see and share different perspectives from other children and adults.

Nurture.

Provide age-appropriate activities. Infants and toddlers need clear boundaries and time to work out tasks independently. Read their cues and provide encouragement and support.

Respond Appropriately.

When they are frustrated, motivate them to use their problem-solving skills, but try to catch them before they become too frustrated and give up.

Build Empathy.

Help toddlers understand others’ perspectives during activities by offering reflective statements such as, “It looks like James might be upset because you grabbed the toy away from him.”

Elementary & Middle School

At the elementary and middle school age, children can be encouraged to collaborate by working together, problem solving, and recognizing others’ perspectives.

Encourage Working Together.

Create opportunities for children to work on tasks together with their peers. Establish rules and expectations for different situations and set reasonable consequences for when things aren’t going well. Help them to see others’ perspectives on possible action steps and solutions.

Teach Problem-Solving Skills

Through gentle guidance and open-ended questions, support children in resolving their own conflicts by learning resolution skills and nonviolent ways of playing, working, and communicating with others. Acknowledge children’s problem-solving attempts whether or not the attempts are successful.

Model Behavior.

Encourage them to think ahead by discussing challenges they would face in carrying out their plans and help them consider how they can prevent or solve them. Suggest taking breaks when children are stuck or when they are getting frustrated. Provide choices when possible. Model the exact words to use, particularly when they are in new situations.

Teens

Teaching teens the skills to overcome conflicts and problems may be the first step in guiding them to collaborate with their peers, family members, or adults.

Talk About Emotions.

Guide teens to first identify and understand their obstacles, to communicate how they’re feeling and describe the problems in their own words. Once they’ve communicated the issues, encourage them to identify potential conflict resolution strategies and pros and cons to different ideas.

Teach Problem-Solving Skills.

Engage them in a step-by-step problem-solving process until you reach a solution. Help them locate other sources of support at school, in their community, and at home. Encourage them to reflect on how their peers and friends might be feeling during conflicts. Assure them that they can rely on you to be their sounding board. Discuss how things went, what they learned in trying a particular solution, and possible next steps.

Infants & Toddlers

Inspire younger children by encouraging learning and creativity.

Provide Structure.

Establish routines so children feel in control of their world and free to explore, play, grow, and learn. Create space and opportunities for them to new skills and tasks.

Encourage Learning And Creativity.

Provide opportunities for unstructured play or make believe and creative activities such as art projects, modeling clay, and building blocks. Read to children of all ages to help expand their sense of the world.

Elementary & Middle School

Inspire children at this age by helping them develop positive mindsets, encouraging them to anticipate success, and nurturing their curiosity and creativity.

Support Positive Thinking.

Encourage children to think positively and to try to master tasks they’re struggling with. Help children develop strategies to bring them closer to their short and long-term goals and success. Break down difficult tasks into manageable steps to help them feel safe enough to experiment, take risks, and to fail.

Encourage Learning And Creativity.

Read to and with children to help expand their sense of the world. Nurture curiosity and creativity by exposing kids to a range of artistic (dressing up, pretend play, and music) and athletic activities. Provide them with toys and activities that both challenge them and allow them to succeed. Engage them in conversations about adults they look up to and why (e.g. celebrities, sports stars, the President, etc.).

Teens

Inspire teens by encouraging them to do things outside their comfort zone. Provide role models and encourage goal setting.

Encourage Positive Thinking.

Encourage teens to try new things and to take part in healthy risk-taking. Suggest activities that allow them to practice skills and feel good about themselves.

Identify Role Models.

Ask teens who their role models are and why, and help them focus on what qualities they admire. Be a positive role model yourself. When possible, create opportunities for them to meet or work with adults in areas that interest them.

Support Goal Setting.

Explore their future goals and engage them in short and long-term goal setting — establish realistic, achievable goals. Provide opportunities for increasingly challenging tasks.

Infants & Toddlers

All Infants and toddlers seek attention, love, and acknowledgement as they develop a sense of identity and self-worth.

Support.

With toddlers, support their newfound independence and explorations, and be there to make them feel safe and secure. When they are frustrated, provide only as much help as needed.

Encourage Perseverance.

Provide opportunities for trial and error experimentation so they can persevere through difficulty. Don’t forget to praise them for making the effort!

Acknowledgement.

Say their names and respond to them consistently. Praise them for hard work, for sticking with a difficult task, or for helping others.

Elementary & Middle School

You can help elementary and middle school-aged children by offering support, encouraging perseverance, and exposing them to new ideas.

Support.

Support elementary and middle school aged children and teach them how to understand and evaluate outcomes. Support elementary and middle school-aged by creating a nurturing environment that fosters a sense of control and efficacy. Teach them how to understand and evaluate outcomes.

Encourage Perseverance.

Encourage trial and error problem-solving skills to teach them how to persevere and celebrate the process. Encourage them to explore cultural traditions and identify sources of cultural pride.

Provide Opportunities.

Encourage them to explore and try new things, and teach them about being helpful or kind to others. Engage them in open-ended free play and thinking.

Teens

You can support teens by helping them build a sense of personal identify around their likes, dislikes, hopes, and values.

Have Fun Together.

Encourage them to take part in activities they enjoy and that you can do together, like video games, art projects, shooting hoops, etc.

Encourage Perseverance.

Invite them to talk about their successes and challenges, and teach them the value of the process and not just the final achievement.

Build Self Esteem.

Call them by their chosen name. Guide them in exploring cultural traditions and sources of cultural pride.

At School

There are many opportunities in the school setting to encourage and to model active and supportive listening.

Build The Culture.

Create a positive classroom climate by establishing rules and norms that support respectful listening among all members of the school community. Create processes that allow all students a chance to share and be heard.

Practice Supportive Listening.

Remain curious and ask supportive questions. For example, “Which part of getting your homework done is hard?” and “Why is that part hard?” instead of, “Why didn’t you do your homework?"

In The Community

Community members can often play a key role as an objective listener in a child’s life.

Body Language.

Physically show them that you are present by removing physical barriers such as phones, notebooks, or paperwork. Show them, by your actions, that what they have to say is worthy of your full attention.

Respect What You Hear.

Listen and take physical or emotional complaints seriously. This will help children see you as someone they can go to in times of need.

Ask Questions.

Social workers, be sure to stay open and curious. Show children that you care about what happened to them, and not just “what’s wrong with them.”

In Healthcare Settings

It is important that professionals listen carefully to children in health settings, especially to those expressing fear and uncertainty about their condition or situation.

Body Language.

Make eye contact and show children that you’re interested about what’s bothering them. Remove physical barriers such as computers or medical equipment to provide your full attention.

Make Them Feel Safe.

Ask normalizing questions to elicit responses. For example, “A lot of kids I see are experiencing XYZ. Might that be going on for you?” or “Given how common XYZ is, we have begun to ask all our patients about it. Is this something that’s going on with you?”

At Home

At home, show children that their thoughts and opinions are worthy of your full attention.

Body Language.

Remove physical barriers to conversations such as cell phones and the TV to show them that you’re listening. Stay physically close when appropriate.

Make Them Feel Safe.

Listen also to what they are not saying — listen for what’s underneath the behavior. If your child isn’t ready to talk, reassure them that you’ll be there when they’re ready.

At School

Create a safe and cozy space in your classroom where kids who are upset can go to calm themselves down.

Identify Triggers.

When you notice that a child might be having a difficult time, ask yourself, “What’s happening here?” rather than “What’s wrong with this child?” Respond in a kind, compassionate way when a child is going into survival mode. When you notice a child’s triggers, proactively develop strategies to help resolve the issues.

Engage Them.

Engage students in activities and assignments such as yoga, meditation, breathing games, and affirmations to help them learn and practice emotional regulation, social awareness, self-awareness, relationship skills, and anger management. Create predictable routines and transitions for children so they know what to expect. Try playing music or ringing a meditation bell to signal that it’s time to transition.

In The Community

Help children identify early warning signs of anger, sadness, and fear, and develop strategies that they can use to calm down in the moment.

Nurture.

Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Set clear, consistent boundaries and limits with children. Help children expand their network of consistently caring adults.

Support Development.

Take children’s concerns seriously, and offer validating statements. Refer to further assessments or services as needed. Praise children’s efforts to regulate their emotions, and offer healthy, non-violent ways to express negative feelings.

In Healthcare Settings

Healthcare providers should talk to children about strategies to calm themselves down when they’re feeling upset, angry, or afraid.

Provide Information.

Explain in detail what you are going to do to help children know what to expect. If a procedure will be painful or scary, offer coping or relaxation strategies such as deep breathing, blowing bubbles, or singing together. Answer children’s questions honestly but age appropriately. Allow a child to participate in making choices when appropriate.

Recognize Their Concerns.

Take children’s concerns seriously and offer validating statements. Discuss what they notice about their bodies when they have these feelings (e.g. heart beating faster, stomach feeling funny). Encourage caregivers or parents to offer emotional and physical support during visits. Prompt them to prepare children ahead of time. Respect children’s privacy. In some instances, you may want to talk to them without their caregivers being present.

At Home

Parents and caregivers can help children identify early warning signs of anger, sadness, and fear, and help them develop strategies to calm down in the moment.

Engage Them.

Play games, read stories and engage children in activities that help them recognize and regulate their emotions. Encourage children to talk about their feelings. Help them expand the words they use to describe emotions. Role model by talking about your own feelings and using language to describe your emotions. For example, “I feel sad that my favorite necklace broke and that I can’t wear it anymore.”

Pay Attention To Their Needs.

Take care of children’s everyday needs. Make sure they are getting their sleep, meals, snacks, baths, and playtime. Be patient. Accept and validate children’s feelings, and remember that negative behavior is often a result of feeling out of control, not a deliberate attempt to upset you. Bond physically with children. Simple things like eye contact, kisses, and hugging will help them feel safe and secure. Provide as much consistency and stability as possible. Help children know what to expect by developing routines and creating a safe, welcoming home environment. Praise children’s efforts to regulate their emotions, and offer healthy, non-violent ways to express negative feelings.

At School

Teachers and school personnel can create many opportunities for children to collaborate in the classroom and during in-school and after-school activities.

Encourage Working Together.

Facilitate working together with peers towards a common goal using agreed upon rules and expectations. Demonstrate to students that group work can help identify multiple solution strategies to problems and that some might be more effective than others.

Teach Problem-Solving Skills.

Encourage working through conflicts together. Teach nonviolent resolution skills and model a problem-solving process rather than just giving students the answer. Notice when children are frustrated and offer supportive guidance. When possible, help them identify other sources of support in school, in the community, and at home.

In The Community

There are many opportunities during sports and free play, in counseling sessions, and around their neighborhoods where children can learn ways to collaborate.

Encourage Working Together.

Encourage teamwork and working together towards common goals. Encourage good friendship skills and set up rules and expectations. Encourage kids to take on appropriate leadership roles. Role model healthy interactions between the children and their peers.

Invite Participation.

Collaborate on decisions about treatment, placement, and other issues. Share your experience and tell stories about how you’ve handled similar situations in the past. Help them identify other sources of support at home and school.

Take Complaints Seriously.

Help children generate safety plans. Practice relaxation techniques with children when they are calm to make them more likely to use these techniques in times of stress. Encourage children to rely on you in times of struggle.

In Healthcare Settings

Provide children a voice in their own treatment and involve them in discussing referral options.

Talk Openly And Ask Questions.

Encourage children to describe what’s bothering them in their own words. Ask them what solutions they’ve tried in the past, and offer validation and encouragement.

Invite Participation.

Collaborate on decisions about treatment, placement, and other issues. Share your experience and tell stories about how you’ve handled similar situations in the past. Help them identify other sources of support at home and school.

At Home

Children can learn ways to collaborate at home whether they are doing homework, completing chores, or participating in family activities.

Understand Behavior.

Talk to your child’s teachers about instances that have triggered them to be upset. Learn if there have been sudden changes in behavior or school performance. Think about which situations are toughest for your child. How can you change your own behavior or reactions to help them cope?

Teach Problem-Solving Skills.

Teach nonviolent conflict resolution skills and problem-solving methods. When possible, encourage children to make their own choices instead of choosing for them. Discuss their experiences trying particular solutions to challenges, and help them think about possible next steps.

At School

Demonstrate a belief in your students’ potential, create a climate of achievement by setting high standards, and set a positive example as a role model through the ways you approach tasks and relationships.

Identify Strengths.

Help children identify their natural talents or abilities and use them in the classroom. Connect children to after-school programs such as theater, dance, sports and opportunities to join in community service.

Encourage Goal Setting.

Create opportunities for children to learn about different career paths and take on leadership roles in and outside of the classroom. Explore their future goals and engage them in short and long-term goal setting — establish realistic, achievable goals.

Build Community.

Inquire about their friend networks and help them identity friends that make them feel happy and confident.

In The Community

Community members working with children at scout meetings, free-play, neighborhood activities, therapy sessions, etc. can be a source of inspiration for children of all ages.

Build Leadership.

Provide experiences that focus on cooperation rather than competition and opportunities to experience success or to develop and practice their leadership skills. Support children’s abilities to speak up when things go wrong or when they’re victimized. Help them become advocates for change.

Identify Role Models.

Encourage children to spend time with other caring adults who can act as role models. Be a positive role model yourself, and help them identify what qualities they admire.

In Healthcare Settings

In a hospital clinic, in a counselor’s office, or during therapy sessions, health care professionals can help to inspire children as providers and confidantes.

Encourage Positive Thinking.

Ask all children about their dreams and aspirations. Encourage children to think positively and to try to master tasks they’re struggling with.

Be A Role Model.

Expose them to what you do. Talk to kids about what you like about being a healthcare provider.

At Home

Help children see the connections between everyday tasks and long-term goals. Show the “why” behind the mundane.

Be A Role Model.

Encourage children to spend time with other caring adults who can act as role models. Be a positive role model yourself, and talk to children about how you or other adults they look up to choose their careers. Help them identify what qualities they admire.

Encourage Creativity And Positive Thinking.

Encourage children to believe that anything is possible and help them set goals to realize their dreams. Children might dream of being a pop singer or an astronaut. Don’t try to lower their expectations.

At School

At school, teachers and administrators can help celebrate children by building confidence, recognizing their efforts, and encouraging positive interactions between children and their peers or teachers.

Build Confidence.

Engage children in open-ended, free play. Point out their talents and strengths and offer more opportunities to build on these skills. Publicly recognize and praise children when they are doing things right. When you need to re-direct their behavior, do it privately and calmly.

Provide Recognition.

Greet children by name and offer rounds of applause or high fives as encouragement. Take children’s concerns seriously and offer validating statements. Tell them that you like them and why you think they’re special.

Encourage Positive Thinking.

Establish a climate of respect, and ensure your interactions with students are affirming, encouraging, and validating. Identify and reinforce a child’s areas of strength and give positive reinforcement when they show skills like perseverance and focus. When children have setbacks or frustrations, praise their efforts and help them figure out next steps.

In The Community

Adults in community-based settings can help children celebrate in the same way that teachers and caregivers do, by offering them recognition and encouragement and fostering positive thinking.

Provide Recognition.

Greet children by name and offer rounds of applause or high fives as encouragement. Tell them that you like them and why you think they’re special.

Encourage Respect.

Establish a climate of respect that supports “put ups, not put downs.” Ensure your interactions with children are affirming, encouraging, and validating.

Build Confidence.

Identify and support children’s strengths and unique talents by engaging them in activities they enjoy. Point out their talents and offer more opportunities to build on these skills.

In Healthcare Settings

Children may have difficulty communicating and may experience fear or uncertainty in healthcare settings. Providers can make children feel safe.

Provide Recognition.

Greet children that you know by name and offer encouragement. Take children’s concerns seriously and offer validating statements.

Build Confidence.

Make children feel important and heard. With other children, include them in treatment planning to make them feel empowered about their health and body.

Encourage Perseverance.

Praise children for being brave after a difficult procedure.

At Home

At home, family and caregivers can create a safe space for children to grow and learn.

Let Them Know They Are Special.

Be spontaneous and affectionate. A simple hug or a note in your child’s book bag with messages like “I think you’re terrific!” can go a long way. Make time for you and your child to do things they enjoy, without distractions like phone calls. Create a wall of fame in your house. Every child is good at something. Discover it, encourage it, and display it.

Build Responsibility.

Give children age-appropriate responsibilities that contribute to the household, like helping to prepare a meal, taking the trash out, or cleaning up after themselves. When they complete the tasks, tell them you appreciate their hard work. Remember to notice and praise even the small things children do, such as being helpful or kind. Provide positive reinforcement and tell them you’re proud of them when you see they’re putting effort towards or trying something difficult.

  1. Masten, A. (2009). Ordinary Magic: Lessons from Research on Resilience in Human Development. Education Canada. Retrieved from http://www.cea-ace.ca/sites/cea-ace.ca/files/EdCan-2009-v49-n3-Masten.pdf.

  2. Paris, E. (2012). Interrupting trauma and advancing development: considering parent education in contemporary psychoanalytic treatment. Clinical Social Work Journal. doi: 10.1007/s10615-012-0412-3.

  1. InBrief: The Impact of Early Adversity on Children’s Development. (n.d.) Center on the Developing Child, Harvard University. Retrieved from http://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/inbrief-the-impact-of-early-adversity-on-childrens-development/.

  1. Culture Influences (n.d.) Retrieved from http://youth.gov/youth-topics/how-culture-influences-positive-youth-development.

  1. Groves, B.M. (2002). Children Who See Too Much: Lessons from the Child Witness to Violence Project. Boston: Beacon Press.

  2. The National Child Traumatic Stress Network. (2014). Children and Domestic Violence – How Does Domestic Violence Affect Children? Retrieved from http://www.nctsn.org/sites/default/files/assets/pdfs/childrenanddv_factsheet_1.pdf.

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